growing like a weed!

I feel like Lainey is a baby giant. She is truly growing like a weed! Some of her 0-3 month stuff already seems short- its not snug on her otherwise so she isn't chubby. I guess that is what being in the 97% for height will do for you. But jeeze she is not 3 months yet, and I know those size are just a "guideline". It makes me sad though she has so many clothes and I feel like she has barely worn them. I want her to stay small and cuddly. I am grateful she is healthy. Oh well, I guess if her towering height is all I have to complain about we are doing pretty good.

Parenting continues to be an adventure. This week took Lainey out of our room and put her in her crib to sleep at night. She is doing wonderful Infact, all week she has been sleeping through the night. I wake her up around 11:30 or midnight to nurse and then put her back down for the night. Kellen gets up at 7 for work. I get up and nurse her about 7:30. That is awesome! I usually don't get to bed to 12:30 or 1..but still this is way better than 3 hours at a time. She pretty much established this all on her own. I was worried about her being in her crib. My fear is I wouldn't be able to hear her cry even with the monitor. But its going great!

On Wednesday, I left her alone with grandma Joyce while I went to some big consignment sale at the RMU sports dome. I worried about her the whole time. To keep myself from calling and texting grandma every 5 minutes, I texted Kellen instead (ha I am sure he loved that, but he is pretty much used to it.) Lainey was fine though. She takes a bottle great. We give her one every other day to get her used to it. When she was a newborn I couldn't wait to give her a bottle. They say to wait 3 weeks for giving a bottle because breastfeeding is established but they are still willing to take a bottle. I thought I would love giving her a bottle because it would give me some more freedom. But I've come to (mostly) enjoying nursing her. Its a bonding experience and its cool to know my body is designed to nurture and feed her.

I love her so much. She is amazing. She is getting to be so fun. Smiling and a cooing. Today I was going through her closest putting things away and I held up an outfit and go "do you like this one sweetie." and she just smiled as if to say "yea" Ha so cute. She gets prettier and prettier each day. Her eyes seem to get more and more blue too. I wonder if they'll stay. (my eyes are mostly green but change blue depending on the day and Kellen's are light blue) I am not sure who she looks like. Her face is so round and both Kellen and I have long faces.

It is getting increasing difficult to have Kellen gone. I really miss him a lot. I can't wait for the weekend because I know he will be around. I honestly do not know how single moms do it. I can't imagine working full time to support a baby and also having to do everything around the house and with the baby. Talk about a super mom! I have a hard time just keeping the house in order and making dinner that isn't burnt (as seen by my last post). I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to stay home with Lainey, but I don't want Kellen to miss everything with her too.

Burnt Dinner

I am so blessed that my husband is willing to work 2 jobs so I can be a stay-at-home mom and watch our daughter grow! He works incredibly hard and long hours and barely even complains! I love him so much. He is a wonderful father, great husband and my very best friend! I can't imagine my life without him and I am so incredibly for the journey we get to embark on together. I wish we got to spend more time together but unfortunatly we don't right now. We know it's just temporary and eventually things will be more ideal.

I can't wait for him to get home so we can have our late night dinner. I actually cooked! Ha its a little burnt thanks for a crying baby, but he never complains. What a sweetie! We just enjoy eating a meal together.

Thanks love for eating burnt dinners and working 14/5 + sporadic Saturdays.

1 Samuel 1:27

I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted my request- 1 Samuel 1:27

Somebody asked me the other day how painful labor was. And I honestly could not remember. I mean, I know it hurt, but how much? and how would I describe the pain? What happens in a woman's mind to make her quickly forget? I think its because when you hold your child and love them, you realize you would go through any amount of pain for the joy that a child brings. I joke with Kellen that I want to be like the Duggars.

Speaking of the Duggars- man do I think they "get it." I realize they are a TV show, and entertainment at that but I think they are a pretty incredible family. Their kids seem amazing. They love the Lord have tried to raise their kids in a way pleasing to him. They view children as a gift from Him and leave it to His will as to how many they will have. They have taught on the truth of birth control and are open about their past mistakes. My mom and many other people think they are nuts. Maybe they are- but I like this insane family!

Now I'm not saying I'll have 18+ more children. But they are such a blessing from the Lord and we'll leave that in His hands!

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Pslam 127:3-5

9 Years Ago...

It was 9 years ago that our country was attack by terrorists. I remember the day very clearly. It was beautiful out. A perfect temperature, the sky was bright blue and the sun was shining bright. The weather was the complete opposite of the darkness and hatred that was attacking our country.

I was in 9th grade. I was in band class when the attacks happened- the news was quickly spreading but nobody seemed to understand what was happening. I heard "a plane crashed in a building in New York" I remember the group of kids laughing and joking about the idiot pilot. Never once thinking this was the 'Pearl Harbor' of my generation. Mr. Chambers didn't mention anything, he just went on conducting like any other day. We just kept playing and practicing. Perhaps he didn't know what to say, perhaps he didn't know. I then went to American Cultures with Mr. McDermott. He was completely silent. He had the TV on and we sat there, in complete silence and watched history in the making.

I had so many questions and fears. I couldn't grasp any of what was going on. I was naive. Why would somebody do this? How can somebody hate our great country so much? What did this mean for the future? Would my life as I know it change? There was so much I didn't understand. There is still so much I don't understand.

I remember the rumor that a plane was headed for Pittsburgh. I remember the fear I had that I my parents life could be endangered. Would we sit down to dinner as a family tonight? For many families in NYC, DC and all over the country, the answer to that question was a no.

I remember all air traffic being grounded. The silence of sky was haunting. You don't realize how much we grow accustom to those noises until they are gone.

I left school early that day. I spent the day with my family grateful they were safe and we were together. I remember going to my grandma's that day and I remember my dad saying he was glad my grandpa wasn't alive to see this.

Nobody I know lost their life that day. In fact, nobody I know has lost their life fighting for our freedom since these attacks. I can't claim to be affected by the attacks nearly as much as those families who had loved ones killed that day or the families who have servicemen who won't return home to our great country. But I won't forget what happened either. I won't forget that evil and hatred is so real and I won't fail to cling to the hope and goodness that is Christ.

I love being an American and I love the freedoms that citizenship brings. I appreciate all those who sacrifice on a daily basis to give my family and I those freedoms. But September 11, 2001 taught me that the world can shattered so quickly and unexpectedly.Even though we live in the country with the greatest military with the best resources available, we still live in a fallen world. There is only one way there will ever be peace. I hope that as we reflect on the reality of this evilness and remember the families who lost loved ones that we can find hope and comfort in the sovereignty and grace of the Lord.

How can something so little....

How can something so little change everyday life so much? Oh how life is so different and this is just the beginning.

I am pretty much home 24/7. Kellen can be gone or work from 8 am -10 pm on most week days- sometimes he is able to stop home for lunch but I mostly have a lot of days where it is just Lainey and I. (and Dieter and Shelby) This gives me a lot of time to think, read, pray, browse the internet, watch tv, and other stuff that is accomplished one handed while holding a baby in the other. It can get kinda lonely, Lainey is a great listener but there are times I long for adult conversation. I've had a lot of visitors, but being 45 minutes away from friends and family doesn't make it the easiest. Going out in a public with a newborn is hard too. I can't just run to Target or the mall or even the food store. Its a big ordeal. First I have to feed Lainey and then if she is calm I can think about going. Then I have to gather up the dogs and fight with Dieter who is hiding under the bed because he doesn't like his kennel. Then I put Lainey in her car seat and take the dogs outside- usually Lainey starts screaming. I kennel the dogs or for a short trip put them in our bedroom. Then we leave- I'm usually hoping the car quiets Lainey. If it doesn't it makes shopping trips a disaster. How can something so little complicate things so much? Then I have to rush around and be home in time to nurse her again. And nursing in public is always an option, but since things are still kinda new its difficult and awkward still. How can something so little eat so often? It makes going to the store quite exhausting!

Having a newborn makes everyday tasks a challenge: showering, sleeping, eating, cleaning, cooking, doing dishes, taking the dogs and even getting the mail! How can something so little make everything a challenge?

How can something so little require so much stuff? How can something so little get sooo heavy after a while of being held? How can something so little cry and scream so loud?

Kellen used to tease me about having "prego brain"-- well hate to break it to you ladies without kiddos, but this seems to be a side effect of pregnancy that lasts awhile. Yesterday Lainey and I had to be somewhere I was all ready to go and I could not for the life of me find my keys. I was searching everywhere. Kellen had them the day before to move the car so I finally texted him, but didn't expect a respsonse because he had a flight. I was seriously almost crying. Just then I heard them jingle, they were clipped to my purse (their typical spot) which was hanging over my shoulder. UGH. Newborn lack of sleep brain. How can something so little make you feel like you're going crazy?

The list goes on and on...like How can something so little be so expensive? How can something so little poop so much? How can something so little burp and fart so loud?

But mostly how can something so little hold such a BIG place in our hearts...

In Love

I can't believe Lainey is 24 days old already. She has lost her newborn look and is getting so big! She is so long- all her little pants are going to be floods or falling off her waist. Every second of being a mom is awesome. She loves to be held and I love holding her. I know the day will come where she won't want her mom to hold her so I am taking every opportunity now. I stare at her all the time- she just might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I probably kiss her 1,000 times a day. I can't believe God gave us this precious gift. Is being a mom hard? Yes, but she makes the challenge 1,000% worth it.