Psalm 4

Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods
Selah

Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD will hear when I call to him.

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Selah

Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the LORD.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.



How sweet is the peace that comes from the Lord- let his glorious name be praised!

Wouldn't it be nice...

maybe someday, if we win the lottery..until then I'll take my half of the man cave and my card table.

plus, I haven't been married that long to need such a great escape from my husband. ha ha

My Strength Comes From You

Last week was torture. I cried almost every free second I had. I barely made it through class, clinical and work. I cried myself to sleep most of the nights. Kellen had no words for me. My family, although trying to offer my hope, did little good. I was sad, mad, confused and frustrated. I felt disappointed in life in so many ways. I haven't felt such despair, such brokenness and so much sadness in such a long time. Satan was attacking and was winning.

But God is bigger. And I have been reminded of his love and grace to his children. Through seeking and reading God's word (I have been working through Psalms and 1 Samuel) I have been able to find some peace and comfort. Though situations have not changed and life is as uncertain as ever, my view towards everything has. I know I must keep seeking him through the difficult times. I am trying to listen to him more intently. I have been so good at telling him my concerns and desires, but slow to listen and truly seek him.

I have also been given the opportunity to get some extra rest this week because of spring break which has been extremely beneficial. In addition, Kellen and I both have taken time off work to spend with one another, a stay-cation if you wish. We would appreciate your continued prayers as we face so many big changes in the near future, look to relocate and find better jobs.

Baby girl seems to be moving less. She gets more active for Kellen- proving herself to be a daddy's girl already. I can feel myself getting more and more uncomfortable and more and more hungry. Most maternity clothes are still too large and most of my jean are becoming snug- an awkward stage to be in. We went today with Melissa and Audrey to look at things to register for. That is going to be a daunting task. Its amazing how something so small can need so many things. Baby girl is still nameless- MIL is calling her Noname (no-nam-ee) kinda cute nickname for now.

Wiggle Worm

When she squirms, it tickles! I love it. Its a bond only her and I share most of the time. I can't help but touch my belly with hopes of kicks and punches from her sweet little hands. A reminder of the precious life God is growing. One day her movement will probably hurt me...but until then be a wiggle worm little girl! I have been feeling movement for a long time now, but last night Kellen really felt her move a lot. It was exciting. I love watching him love our little girl so much already. What a daddy's girl.

I thought we had finally decided on a name-- only to hear Kellen was uncertain and didn't think he liked it anymore. Ugh! I am done making suggestions because I really like it still. Its his turn to be creative.

Pregnancy as well as the stresses of life are getting to me. I am so discouraged and have the energy to do nothing. Today I have done nothing but go to clinical, nap, watch TV, and eat crescent rolls. It's only Monday, I don't know how I'll have the strength to fight through the rest of the week. I hope to use my spring break as a time to really focus on the Lord and refocus my heart on him. Both Kellen and I took time off and this would be a great thing for us to do.

Anatomy Pictures

Pictures from our anatomy scan at 19 weeks:







The 3D pictures aren't great because 1. she only weighs like 8 ounces and fat makes the cute 3D pictures you see and 2. she was not cooperating towards the end when we tried to see her face. If you can make it out, the first is her little head and the second she has her hands over her face hiding, begging for no more pictures!

We love her so much.

We're having a.....

Today we went for our half way point anatomy scan. It was great. Both my parents and Kellen were able to come. Not only were they able to see the baby, but they got to see what I am studying in school- a little peak into my career.

Baby is great. Everything looks perfect. Strong heart, beautiful bones and spine, no lip deformity, fluid good, feet perfect, very active and totally beautiful!
The tech that did our scan was wonderful. Its great to have some connections. She tried to get us some cute 3-ds, but baby's position was sub par. The tech said my placenta is posterior, which means I will feel a ton of movement.

Anyway, it was confirmed that baby is all GIRL. She is lovely. She is just so precious and Kellen and I are way in love with her already. We don't have a name picked out yet, but are working hard on trying to come up with the perfect one!

I am still having some pretty severe, but unexplained cramping. It makes me really uncomfortable and can be pretty painful. Please pray it goes away soon.

I wanted to post pictures of today scan, but I am too exhausted to do so. I will try on Saturday to upload them.

Sigh of Relief

Over the last few days I have had some cramping. Some mild, some severe. I wasn't too worried as I thought it was just from my uterus stretching, but on Thursday night I had some bleeding. It was quite scary. We called the doctor and she wanted me to be seen on Friday morning, unless I got worse.

So today I went in and the doctor examined me and couldn't find anything noticeably wrong that could cause the bleeding, but ordered an ultrasound for a cervical length and placenta position. She wanted this done today. I was nervous since I am down in the OB department and nobody even knew I was pregnant. Well, I told them and they saw me right away (benefits of being an ultrasound student)! Well, I got to see our little baby again. The heart beat was 160 and strong. My placenta isn't covering the cervix and my cervix length is great. This is all good news.

I continue to have some cramping, but no more bleeding. Perhaps it was just a fluke thing. I was told to rest up, try to stay off my feet and be catered to. So today I took a wonderful nap and did some shopping.

I can't believe how much I love this little baby already. I am just overjoyed and majorly relieved that everything looked good today. We still have our big ultrasound next Thursday.

Texas Anyone?

I am extremely hopeful right now. Kellen has been seaarching for a flight job for over a year now. He has been limited to the area because of me finishing up school, but as graduation nears he has been searching all over the country. Back in February her was offered a position in Kentucky, but there were a lot of disadvantages to this position. And it was in the middle of no where, super small towns. He has until April or so to decide about this job. Recently he was called for an interview in Texas. Texas totally trumps Kentucky in my opinion. In fact, Texas is in the top 5 states I would want to relocate to if necessary.

1. North Carolina
2. South Carolina
3. Texas
4. Colorado
5. Oregon or Washington

Anyway, he is going to fly down for the interview. It would be a great flight position for him. He would get great experience and Texas has year long flight weather. So I am hopeful. I feel like things really haven't been going our way with a lot of things and I have been extremely discouraged with so many things, but I am hopeful with this. Of course, this would be a huge move for us (especially being super pregnant) and the average is 95. But it would be worth it. I am over excited and can't stop looking at apartments! I think it will help Kellen get his career started and lead to great things in the future for our family. Prayers would be much appreciated. I'll keep you all update.

17 Weeks Down....

I am still having pretty bad swings of morning sickness. Today I barely made it through clinical- I kept thinking I was going to throw up on patients. It is a horrible experience. I really thought by now I would feel better.

In other words, I am just over 17 weeks. By demand, I will post my belly picture. It "popped" over night around 15 weeks, but hasn't grown much since then. I don't even recognize my body anymore. Pregnancy really does change everything. Kellen has been so supportive. He loves my growing belly- always touching and kissing baby. Its wonderful to see him be a great father already.

I am feeling little peanut move a ton. Especially this afternoon. It tickles. Sometimes I just start giggling out loud because he or she is tickeling me--from the inside! I love feeling movement, I know towards the end movement can become uncomfortable so I am soaking in all the goodness of it now. Feeling the little squirms makes me realize just how awesome its going to be to hold this bugger for the first time. I just might not want to share with Kellen at first :-)

So here is me: exhausted after a long week of midterms, 17 weeks pregnant and sick.