Last week was torture. I cried almost every free second I had. I barely made it through class, clinical and work. I cried myself to sleep most of the nights. Kellen had no words for me. My family, although trying to offer my hope, did little good. I was sad, mad, confused and frustrated. I felt disappointed in life in so many ways. I haven't felt such despair, such brokenness and so much sadness in such a long time. Satan was attacking and was winning.
But God is bigger. And I have been reminded of his love and grace to his children. Through seeking and reading God's word (I have been working through Psalms and 1 Samuel) I have been able to find some peace and comfort. Though situations have not changed and life is as uncertain as ever, my view towards everything has. I know I must keep seeking him through the difficult times. I am trying to listen to him more intently. I have been so good at telling him my concerns and desires, but slow to listen and truly seek him.
I have also been given the opportunity to get some extra rest this week because of spring break which has been extremely beneficial. In addition, Kellen and I both have taken time off work to spend with one another, a stay-cation if you wish. We would appreciate your continued prayers as we face so many big changes in the near future, look to relocate and find better jobs.
Baby girl seems to be moving less. She gets more active for Kellen- proving herself to be a daddy's girl already. I can feel myself getting more and more uncomfortable and more and more hungry. Most maternity clothes are still too large and most of my jean are becoming snug- an awkward stage to be in. We went today with Melissa and Audrey to look at things to register for. That is going to be a daunting task. Its amazing how something so small can need so many things. Baby girl is still nameless- MIL is calling her Noname (no-nam-ee) kinda cute nickname for now.
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